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POSITIVE SELF-TALK

Jan 20, 2022

Growth’s only request of you is that you get out of your comfort zone – mediocrity and status quo are not acceptable with GROWTH. Get out of your comfort zone because GROWTH allows you endless opportunities to continue to explore new parts of yourself. Growth is not outward facing but INWARD. WE NEVER STOP GROWING and learning.

GROWTH:

+ is a PROCESS;
+ is deliberate practice day after day;
+ is not a quick fix or an overnight solution;
+ requires devotion and discipline; bad habits are not solved immediately;
+ is a marathon not a sprint;
+ requires people around you who are going to challenge you and tell you the truth;
+ requires “tough” feedback & constructive criticism;
+ makes you take the time to self reflect and look into the mirror;
+ makes you ask yourself the repetitive tough question of what can I do to get better.

See yourself as a work of art – ALWAYS IN PROGRESS. When you see something you do not like, no need to come down hard on yourself or get all emotional. Don’t waste all that energy. Be like an artist, JUST GET TO WORK ON THE WORK OF ART. Find the bad habit that created the undesirable trait. Then practice and work at it EVERYDAY- daily dedication until it no longer requires conscious effort – it now becomes part of your routine and forms a new habit and a better you.

WHAT IS SELF-TALK?

Self-talk is that “endless stream of unspoken thoughts that runs through all of our heads and minds” …. and it can be positive or negative……”it’s the internal dialogue that goes on within the subconscious mind”…. it is the manifestation of our beliefs and opinions….it is usually worry or commentary about an outcome.

The idea of self-talk for me has always been about helping me see the WHOLE TRUTH -the BIG PICTURE; not just the negative aspects and not just some optimistic fluff and false praise. We must be able to distinguish between what is “fluff” and “false praise” and what is actually HELPFUL. Self-talk should always be focused on ACTION- what to do, rather than formulating self-talk based on what NOT TO DO.


So instead of focusing on whether your self-talk is positive or negative, or good or bad — figure out what is PRODUCTIVE FOR YOU and then find out in what context and what situation the best strategies are most effective. Different situations call for different types of self-talk (see below); one size does NOT FIT ALL; one mantra will not work in every situation.

REAL, PRODUCTIVE, PRACTICAL SELF-TALK

What affects our PERSPECTIVE? How do we formulate our beliefs and opinions? Be more enlightened, more hopeful, more open minded —when your INNER CRITIC is starting to question you and your abilities, then challenge YOURSELF and your INNER CRITIC by asking your NEGATIVE SELF-TALK ABOUT THE TRUTHFULNESS OF WHAT IT’S TELLING YOU.

  • What is the evidence for and against my thinking?
  • Are my thoughts factual or just my interpretation?
  • How can I find out if my thoughts are actually true?
  • Do these thoughts stop me from achieving my goals?
  • If I were being positive, what would I be thinking?
  • Is this situation as bad as I am making it out to be?
  • What is the worst case scenario and what is the best thing that could happen?
  • Will this even matter in 3 months?


Make the MONOLOGUE THAT GOES ON INSIDE OF YOUR MIND PRODUCTIVE. If the conversations in your head are NEGATIVE, CHANCES ARE HIGH that you are not living your life to your full potential. Getting rid of self-doubt, self-limiting beliefs and blocking negative self-talk is the goal. SILENCE YOUR INNER CRITIC. Your negative self-talk limits your ability to believe in yourself and increases your stress levels. Any negative thought that questions your confidence and your ability to make positive changes in your life is a sign your inner critic is at work. Stopping negative self-talk is imperative. How we “SEE OURSELVES” matters.



More REAL, PRACTICAL, SOLUTION BASED-TALK is always the objective. I always believe in using way more positive self-talk with myself and try to minimize and ELIMINATE ANYTHING THAT IS NEGATIVE. I want to feel in control of events and situations in my life and I want to always be learning and growing and moving towards success and development. Using positive self-talk during both training and during competition is always the goal.

Sometimes, self-talk can be just about BLOCKING NEGATIVE THOUGHTS. Saying “STOP” to your inner critic.

Developing an awareness of your self-talk and being able to constructively evaluate it and scripted ahead of time and practiced with trial and error with different self-talk cues in certain scenarios.

PERFORMANCE-BASED SELF-TALK

Research shows there are 4 specific categories of performance-based self-talk and what type of statements you should say for different situations:

  • Calming & relaxing self-talk – “take a deep breath”; “I’m grateful for all the opportunities and support”;
  • instructional self-talk – “coil my pelvis”; most helpful for tasks required to improve your skills and technique; self-talk effects motor skill performance more than cognitive performance;
  • Motivational self-talk – “win this pitch”; can improve confidence and positively affect performance; help you regulate your feelings, thoughts and energy about each event (practice, game, at bat); most effective in tasks requiring endurance, strength and competition;
  • Focus self-talk – “stick to my plan”; I believe in my dreams; I accept responsibility and ownership for my attitude and effort



CHANGE is a given in all of our lives. Our inner self critic negative self-talk is our protector for STATUS QUO and that voice inside our heads that resists change and growth and knowledge for as long as it can because with change and growth and knowledge your inner critic loses power. The journey to embracing change and managing your inner self-critic is ACTION.

Do you have negative beliefs about yourself? Do you have negative self-talk scripts that are convenient excuses to avoid change? They are “ropes around your ankles” (self-limiting beliefs) and naysayers in your head.

  • Think about your self-limiting beliefs;
  • how you can flip them around to be more positive self-talk scripts?
  • Smash through your self-limiting mental myths.
  • Use the positive self-talk scripts to guide your behavior.
  • How do you see yourself?
  • How do you perceive the value you have to others?

MY TOP POSITIVE MANTRAS

What works for each player/athlete is different and mostly PERSONAL TO THAT PERSON, but here are some of my favorite mantras.


1. “YOU ARE ENOUGH”. Before going on stage, Demi Lovato tells herself “YOU ARE ENOUGH”. She uses this to SILENCE any of her self-limiting beliefs.


2. My favorite self-affirmations are from the movie, “The Help” – see below.



3. How about the self-talk of TIGGER: “YOU HAVE TO HAVE SOME BOUNCE”.



4. “YOU ARE FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE”!


5. BETCHA CAN, YOU ARE POSSIBLE: NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE. (Read the stories of ROGER BANNISTER, WRIGHT BROTHERS). Be skeptical of the experts and the naysayers and haters. PROVE THEM WRONG!


6. Prove the naysayers and haters WRONG!


7. SAY YES! Taking risks in pursuit of self-discovery.


8. “YOU NEVER LOSE, YOU EITHER WIN OR LEARN!”


9. Obstacles and adversity are your best path to success!


10. “YOU ARE THE GREATEST”- tell yourself you are the best at what you do and let that inspire you to take the necessary actions to prove it.




11. “WHAT GOOD SHALL I DO TODAY?” Helping others and solving problems brings value to you.

12. YOU ARE POWERFUL BEYOND MEASURE. YOU ARE MEANT TO SHINE. YOU SHINING LIBERATES OTHERS.


13. “BE YOUR MOST COMPETITIVE PERSONALITY!”

14. Press on through adversity. Get your face marred by dust and sweat and blood. Continue to strive valiantly and dare greatly in a worthy cause.



Silence your inner critic. MAKE IT A BENCHWARMER! Your inner critic is that “COLD” hearted voice that knows neither victory nor defeat because ALL it does is criticize rather than actually getting its face marred in the arena.

There are so many fun & productive “mantras” with “cool” back stories —go find your own 10 or use some of my suggestions and hang them on your mirror and start using them and I BETCHA your attitude and effort will notice a big difference as your inner critic gets less playing time.


PURSUE EXCELLENCE & WIN THIS PITCH!

About the Author

Mike Lotief coached 17 successful years as either the head softball coach or co-head softball coach with his wife Stefni Whitton Lotief at the University of Louisiana from 2002-2017 with an overall coaching record of 731-176 (80.6 winning percentage). Every season, the Ragin Cajuns softball team advanced to the NCAA tournament and also advanced to three (3) Women’s College World Series (2003, 2008, 2014) and from 2012-2016 advanced to five (5) straight NCAA Super Regionals. Coach Lotief produced over 40 All American selections and his 2017 team lead the nation in scoring and was ranked in the Top 10 in home runs, slugging percentage, on base percentage.

The coach is a cancer survivor (twice) and was the first person in the U.S. to receive the Pro Trach device. Mike and Stefni spearheaded and raised the funding to build the new softball stadium in 2009 and the new softball indoor hitting facility in 2015. They are proud parents to Chelsea, who played softball and graduated from the Univ. of Louisiana in 2018, and Andrew, who is a junior at Louisiana studying Mechanical Engineering.

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